Friday, October 19, 2007

Warning: Graphic Content

I am about to get very real with you. If you are scared or have a weak stomach stop reading now...



Okay I warned you.



There should never be blood in the toilet when you are done, if you get my drift.

First thought, "Oh wonderful and we have a team retreat this weekend." Then there is this little film that plays in your head.



FADE IN



DOCTORS OFFICE



DOCTOR: I'm sorry Mr. Farmer.



ME: What is it Doc?



DOCTOR: We don't know, all I can tell you is you have a week to live.



I always knew this would happen. Sometimes I get pains that I've never had before and I'm pretty sure they are fatal. This time the proof is bright red. I need someone to back me up on all this scary stuff. My wife is a mom, she's seen all sorts of gross stuff.

"Honey would you come at look at this?"

To which she responds (knowing I'm in the bathroom) "Look at what?"

"Just come and look at this and tell me what you think."

Together we decide that it is not good.



I am alone. I will be brave. Everything seems weird. This is bad. I'll ignore it.Maybe I will blog my experience as I live through it. I want to be a strong witness. To show the world the hope and faith I have in Jesus. "To live is Christ. To die is gain."
What's going to happen to Paula and the kids. It's my fault. I didn't take care of my body. P's scared. I can see it in her eye's.I'm not even forty yet. I should have exercised more. I should have eaten better. It's funny how just yesterday I started thinking about health. As Vikki and I cleaned out her garage. We juiced some carrots, apples...ginger...and !?!

I grab the cell phone. Punch in Vikki's number. Rings once. Rings Twice. (British accent) 'Ello?

"Vikki can beet juice make your poop red?"

"Oh yes that's totally normal. Don't worry."

DON"T WORRY!?! I am so happy...I AM NOT GOING TO DIE! YES!
At least not yet.



So Be Blessed and be careful of the beet juice.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHA! you make me laugh out loud. i'm so glad you blogged this :).
k

Jenelle said...

My mama is a nurse at a colonoscopy center. I was going to refer you to her if it wasn't the veg juice. I half suspected it was something Vicky served you in nature's glass, though, even before reading till the end. You are a funny boy. I'm glad you'll live.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHA ur so funny! I was wondering "what the.....??????" :P well, I`m glad ur not going 2 die!