The ex-Actor & the Hippie Witch (Our Story Part 3)

One of the things that I didn't know was that I was SUPER messed up. (That may seem obvious , but I was clueless.) I was hurting. I was self medicating with numerous drugs. I was so empty inside and scared to face it that I was stoned or worse most of the time. Another thing that I didn't know was that at Doe Bay there was a repetitive cycle of people turning on one another. Things would be great for awhile, but as Winter approached all hell would break loose. The biggest thing I didn't know was that I was taking my first steps towards my Destiny.

Paula, the 5'5", brown haired, green eyed girl, was the key stone in my future history. As we started hanging out together, I started to find a friend. Someone who liked my crazy, adventures ideas. Someone who thought my writing was good. A person who seemed be a mix of laid back and charged up. Half woman, half magic.

She was a nomad, having just returned from a desert journey to clean up from meth. A hippie chick with funk in her soul. A worshiper of the moon who could see the supernatural. A blend of Wicca and wild. She was on a spiritual journey following Bachas, the Greek God of wine, and Diana the Moon Goddess. She was fun and free spirited. What she wanted more than anything was to have a baby, but she had been through some serious medical procedures recently, and the doctors had told her she would never have children. Having been told she would never be a Mother, she set out to prove those Doctors wrong. She was going to have a baby, one way or another.

So there we were. An ex actor from New York, who was running from everything. And a hippie chick witch, trying to find someone to sire her child, which the Doctors said she couldn't have. Believe it or not, she looked at me and thought I would be a good candidate. (She says she thought I had a good gene pool) And believe it or not, I said I would help her try. So she moved into my cabin. We started playing house and working on being dysfunctional, and we were doing a great job.

Thanksgiving came and went. The weather started getting colder as Christmas approached. Paula and I were starting to see the first signs of the break down of relationships that Doe Bay had seen time and again. She went home for Christmas and in true dysfunctional fashion, while she was gone, I started to miss her and fall in love with her. A whole week and I couldn't wait for her to return.

One afternoon I get a phone call from Texas. It's Paula and she is in a good mood. Call it magic. Call in luck or call it a miracle, but the news from the other end of the line went as follows, " I have something to tell you. I am pregnant." Silence. I was going to be a Father. Just like that. We were going to have a baby.

James Brown and Cowgirls (Our Story Part 2)

She is 5'5". She has brown hair. She has green/blue eyes. And she is now the mother of my children. (I'm getting ahead of my self) I said she walked in , but to tell you the truth it was more like she, the gals from Texas she was with came rolling into the cafe. You could hear them coming down the hill. If you've never met a group of women from Texas, who have just come back from a James Brown concert, let me tell you this, they make a lot of noise. (In a good way) These girls were dressed to the hilt. Mini skirts, knee high go-go boots an array of hats and scarfs. The works. The welcome party had arrived and I was the new guy. This was going to be a great trip.

Everyone at Doe Bay was so cool. (Doe Bay was the name of the hippie resort) Most of the people were summer employees close to my age. There was Eric the cook/tattoo artist. Bobby the ex-pro golfer. Kerri the tall strong gal from Denver. Sweet gentle Bradly who was just back from Alaska. Tom the handsome Brit. And... Paula. (She's the 5'5", brown haired, green eyed lady) We all hit it off. Hanging out during they're free time. Smoking out, drinking beers and red wine. The days were cool and sunny. Nights were cold, quiet, and filled with new friends.I had not felt this free in along time.

I remember at one point running down the road to a cabin where my Mom was. As I ran I felt as if I was 7 years old again. I wasn't 26 and scared of life. I had a new start.I was hooked. I wasn't going back to New York. What did I have to go back to? Debt, worry, and a failing acting career? That was the package deal that was waiting for me back there. I had run from trouble before. This was a no brainer. I was starting over.

Part of getting to start over is the fact that you get to reinvent yourself. So I shaved the sides of my heads, dyed my hair with henna and bought my self a forest green hemp dress. (It looked like a mid-evil frock thing. Very manly.) I was a new man, or something like that. I had a new look. I had new friends. And that green eyed gal and I were hitting it off. Things were good, but there were some things I didn't know.

Our Story (Part 1)

August 1995

New York was eating me alive. Living fast and playing hard was breaking me down emotionally, physically and spiritually. New York, the city that never sleeps. Where the best of the best come to give it a go. Most of us ended up waiting tables. After three years of attempting a professional acting career in the Big Apple I hit the wall.

My sister was living on an island in Washington State and was going to get married. I didn't have the money to get out there. Mom was convinced I was gonna die in NY NY. She was probably right. She told me she was flying me out for the wedding. I could stay at the resort she and Ish owned.(Ish and mom had been together sense I was 17) Now when I say resort I mean in the very rustic, earthy, hippy style.

I don't remember how I got the ticket for the plane. I don't remember how I got to the airport. I don't remember my last look at Manhatten Island. All I know is that I got to Washington. That the ferry ride from the main land to the island was long. And that those island were the greenest place I had seen in a long time. (Outside of Central Park which is locked in the middle of the concrete jungle) Those islands were beautiful.I felt myself relax as I soaked in the peace of not being in the big city.

No worries or responsibilitys.There were only three things I wanted. To see my new nephew who had been born in May. To forget about all of the junk I'd been dealing with in NY, and to find some people who liked to smoke out. This looked like the right place. Rainbow and rustic. Everything I needed.

Even the resort cafe was perfect. Wooden structure over looking the blue water bay. Wood burning stove for heat. Tables covered with butcher paper and crayons for drawing. Plus good hearty food. That's right where I was, sitting having dinner, looking really slick in my white button down shirt and khaki pant when she walked in...

Wash Me in the Water

"I am blessed to baptise you in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit." With those words I lowered my daughter into the frigid pool water. Actually I had to push to get her down because she kind of floated.

It had been threating to rain for a few days and I wasn't sure how the weather would be for her baptism. The day was cool, but in the sun it was warm enough. For the last year she has been asking to be baptised. I had told her in the states that we would do it in Portugal. Well here we are in Portugal. For the last month the Lord had been putting a strong need to do baptisms. So I figured this was it. Time for her to get baptised.

I don't know how was more nervouse, her or me. As we stood there at the poolside and I shared how this was her own faith not mine the thing that moved me most was the looks of love and tears on the faces of those who were there to support Eden in this step of faith.

We stepped into the pool and shock waves of cold ran up my spine. (November baptisims. Next time were doing them in Summer.) There we stood. My beautiful daughter and me. This little girl who was brought into this world by two very irresponsible, trippy, freaks. (Maybe I need to share our full story sometime) Looking down at her I realized that God really is in the buisness of life transformation. Our family is a perfect example.

Down under the water, taking her place with Jesus in his death and then back up into Life. Abundant life that is ever lasting. What a joy to be the Father of such a wonderful girl. What a blessing to be the one to baptise her. These are the things that really matter.I truely am a blessed, blessed man. You be blessed too.

A Time of Thanksgiving

The news came yesterday that we are in trouble with our support. We have been struggling as the dollar falls lower and lower against the euro. Sometimes supporters can not afford to keep up with support. And on top of all that if looks as if our support level has been sitting at about 50% for awhile now. It would be easy for me to write about the bleakness of our situation, but just now out on the patio God showed me his Love and spoke to me of Thanksgiving.

I was starting to spiral into the hopelessness zone. That's the place where you start thinking "What are we going to do? This looks hopeless." Everyone has to deal with this from time to time. Sometimes it's money. Sometimes it's family problems. Sometimes it's just life. Being on the mission field doesn't stop it from happening. So that's where I found my self. That's where I went first thing this morning. Then God stepped in.

He spoke gently. In a way I could understand. Look around he said. Isn't it beautiful. I brought you here. See this appartment you are living in. I gave you that. Look inside see your beautiful kids and their friend Issac I have blessed you with that. Remember how Denny and Maureen were there to comfort you last night. That was me. Notice how even though you have been undersupported you haven't starved. Remember that car acciedent and how your car is getting fixed. Me again. Your friends, the prayer room, people loving you, the wonderful beach, the free coffee maker, the growth of the Matrix, learning to play guitar, the loan of the guitar to play, and so many other things. Do you think I will abandon you now?

The air was cool on the patio. Even knowing that there is alot of work to do to raise our support back up, I was filled with hope. Out of the corner of my eye I caught a glimps of a butterfly. A butterfly three stories up. "Thank you Jesus for the butterfly." My you be blessed and thankful.

WE PRAYED!

I wish was in a better mood right now, but I am NOT! I'm ripped because I just had to pay 110 Euros to have my front door opened because we walked out the door and forgot to take our keys. This is all due to the fact that my house keys are on my car key ring and I have a rental car while my car gets fixed-up after the crunching it recieved last month.

Anyhow I'm letting off steam on my blog, when I had intended to talk about our 24/7 (actually 24/3) Prayer Room. If you're not familiar with 24/7 Prayer it is a prayer movment where people set-up a space/room with creative elements and they pray for 24 hours a day for 7 day. This goes on all over the world non-stop, people praying for the world around them.

Our 24/7 went from 4pm Friday afternoon to 8pmSunday night. Almost every hour was filled by our community. Friday night we kicked it off with worship and praise together. It was great. I had spent the whole day with Vikki prepairing the space and was so happy to hear people say that it was warm and enviting. The evening was cool and you could feel the excitment that people had in expectation of what God would do. There was laughter, tears, singing and the powerful feeling of Gods presence with us as we worship in that garage turned prayer room. Then the real prayer started.

I cannot say what experiances people had in that room because I was not in there every hour, but my time was great. I had a 3 am to 7 am slot that was awsome. Look up Malachi 1:11 and listen to the worship song "Famous One" if you want to hear a little of what God spoke to me. Others had great things to say about their time there as well. The walls grew richer and more colorful as people painted, drew, wrote out and experesssed their heart of prayer to God. Going from blank white paper walls, to colorful prayer filled walls is a breath taking experince everyone should have.

We finished our time together as a larger Matrix community. The place was packed with surfer, artists (the walls showed that), moms, dads, kids, new faces and old one, follwers of Christ, seekers, wonderers, singles, punks, and who knows what else. Looking around I realized how faithful God is. He is raising up and army on its knees. He is blessing our Lisboa Matrix community. He is bringing His people out of the wood work. We worshipped loud. We prayed deeply. We stood together. All of us. No matter who we were, or what we thought. We were a people of God. Praying to Him. Living in union with him and each other. Oh wow was it beautiful. I am grateful for what God is doing here and pray that he with keep pouring his spirit out on our community. Like I quoted before "Expect great things from God. Attempt great things for God." Be Blessed

Dear God @ 24/7.life

We are praying twenty four hours a day right now! Non-stop, around the clock. Like watch men on the wall. He says to ask and you will recieve. So we are asking.

What could happen?

Let's wait and see!

Expect great things from God. Attempt great things for God!

(I think William Cary said that. I could be wrong.)

A Real Mans Man/(Boy)

*

When I grow up I want to be just like my son. He is fearless and care not what the world thinks. He has these really square guy feet. They're like little bricks. In fact he is a little brick. Even seince he was a baby he has been a brick. That stuff on his face isn't mud it's octopus ink.

Today, after house church, he and I walk down to the beach to sit in the sun and read (If we felt like it.) We sat by the sea pool at the Estoril beach and he proceded to foot slide on the moss around the sea pool, in his Speedo .( A trick he learned from Dane Uhler and Jesse Borden. Not the Speedo part, just the sliding) It was fun and I almost stopped him a few times because I thought he could get hurt doing it. Foot sliding is the same thing as sock sliding on a wood floor, but you are bare foot on moss. But I held my tounge and watched him have a blast, and a few spills. I was glad he didn't bust his head.

It was a good father/son time. We drank sodas and enjoyed the sun. There was a constant courus of "Hey Dad watch this!" Followed by a death defying slide of about 6ft. The reserved Portugese watched out of the cornder of their eye. I mean what was this kid doing running around in a swimming suit in November, even if it was 80 degrees out today. I thought this is just what he needs so who cares what anyone thinks. Then came the call. Dad, dad, dad, look. Come look! It's an octopus." The sea pools is only about 2 ft deep at the shallow end and the water was crystal clear, so you could see really well. Sure enough there was a small octopus there. Its head was about the size of an egg plant. Noah was in the water in a flash. I'm yelling Grab it! Grab it!

Now let me be honest I would have been nervous grabbing it, but buddy boy went right at it. I'm yelling Grab it!, but in my head i'm thinking, "Do octopus have those beaks that can take chunks out of you?" It's in the rocks at the side of the pool and Noah is sticking his arm under there, face in the water becuase he has to dig under the rocks. The little think skirts to a new spot and then Noah screams. His arm flashes out of the water. "Did you see that he tried to grab me and pull me in." Then he grabs for him again and brings that little guys up to the edge. There is a thrashing and BAM! Black ink in the face. At that point I would have dropped him, but my boy held on and we landed that little guy buy hand. The smile was worth a million bucks.

We looked at him and set him back in the water. Those little suction cups really do stick to ya, I'll tell you that. With our hunting victory fresh in our minds we headed home. Our spirit of adventure well satisfied. I told him if I knew how to cook octopus we could have eatten him. He said he's a catch and release kind of guy. Sensetive, tough, fearless and enviromentally consience. Like I said, when I grow up I want to be like my son.