Come Like Little Children

Carey invited us to go the the beach with some kids from Aldia SOS today. Aldia SOS is one of the 2 orphanages we did restoration on last summer. I picked the kids up from school, ran home, grabbed some beach wear and headed out. (It seems like it's been raining for the last 3 weeks. Quit rolling your eyes all you folks in Northern Europe.)

One of the funny things about going to the beach with Noah is that he puts his wetsuit on before we leave the house. Then he's ready to hit the water as soon as he gets there. (The water here is very cold. )One of the draw backs of the "wear your wetsuit to the beach system" is that you also have to wear the thing home. (But that's another story)

So we buzz over to Carcavelos Beach to meet up with the Uhlers. (At least three of the Uhlers) Noah immediately hits the water and i sit there watching him. As he splashed around in the rolling white wash, my mind drifted into thought. The sun warm on my face. The wind just cool enough. Then a gentle thought, a small voice maybe. This is how the Spirit spoke to my heart. "Look at your son body slamming the waves. He doesn't even care if he doing anything special. He just likes to be in the water, without needing to accomplish anything. He doesn't need to learn to surf, or body board, or anything. He's just there with out shame, or expectation, enjoying the power of the sea. Do that with me."

It was a very simple, but profound lesson. Here are the steps;

1. Before you leave prepare like you are going to get wet.

2. When you arrive, don't hesitate.

3. The joy is in the experience of the moment, not in a goal or project.

4. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks, just get in there and get wet.

Children really are the best way to understand God. Get wet and Be Blessed

(By the way Noah is enjoying doing art on windows paint. He did the heart.)

I Feel Like Cinderella

I am working on living a simpler way of life. Chuck Swindol put me up to it. He wrote this nice little book called... (what is the name of that book? I'll go look at it and find out...Got it!) It's called "Intimacy with the Almighty" Cool title! He talks about four things he did to find a greater Intimacy with God. They go in this order;

1. Simplify, 2. Silence, 3. Solitude, 4.Surrender. (I could go into all the details but I won't)

So I read the little book again, (it's like the third or fourth time I've read it) and I looked around the house and said to myself, "Self this place is a mess, because it to messy. It's to messy because it's cluttered with stuff! Self, we need to simplify." So that's what I've been doing. Getting simpler. It is bringing a lot more peace to my life. Simple peace.

That was right after Easter. Then this week I started running. Lately God has been encouraging me to get healthier. Now I have never been an exercise freak, but I knew I should be exercising more than I was. The thing was that I didn't do it. I kept ignoring the "Why don't you start getting healthier?" feeling I was getting. I would say to myself (and God in the process) I'm working up to it. I'll do it soon. (Wink) So what does God do? He ups me by one. He has Derek Dempsey buy some Nike shoes in the States. Derek loves the shoes and brings them home. When he gets them here they don't fit any more. (They fit perfect in the states he said) He tries to give them to a few people, but no luck. So what the heck, see if they fit me. (Derek is 6' 4" and wears a size 11 1/2) I figure no way they're going to fit. I put them on. Perfect fit. It's like being Cinderella except there isn't a Fairy Godmother, but there is a God Father. (I'll make you an offer you can't refuse) SO...I am now running 1.8 mile in the mornings. Who would have guessed.

Three things I must keep reminding myself as I do this...

1.I want a simpler life, I like a clean house, so I have to put the work into doing it til it is a habit.

2. I want to be healthier, I want to live, so I have to push through the pain til it gets easier.

3. I want to respond positively to God, because He loves me and it blesses me greatly.

Looking around I see that my kitchen needs to be cleaned and the laundry folded. My legs are sore and shaky. And God is a very patient Father. Be Blessed and push on with the hard stuff.

Thrums () Thrums ( ) Thrums ( )

Simple
Nowtherushingpressingbuzzingchaosthrumthrumthrums
Still
Nowtherushing pressingbuzzingchaos thrumthrums
In solitued
Now the rushingpressingbuzzing choasthrums
Surrendered
Thrums
Here
This Moment
Moment to moment
()
Movenowor facethe oblivionthat waitsontheotherside
Comfort me
Here
In this moment
This that is before me
( )
Thrums
This
This alone
( )
Allthe lonleyness is isthe reality ofthe failure thatyou are
Stop
( )
Youwillnever stop
Wait
( )
Itis all empty
Listen
( )
To yourhead chatter
Moment to moment
( )
Here
( )
Only here
( )
Silent
( )
Wait
( )
Simple
(You are my beloved)
I breathe as I am
Silent
(You are my beloved)
I breathe as I am being
Solitued
(You are my beloved)
I breathe as I am being made
Surrender
(You are my beloved)
I breathe as I am being made new
(Beloved)
Simple
Thrums

The Power of Plants; Our Story (Part 6)

When I started telling our story it was just going to be a little blurb about our journey to Jesus, but somehow I can never just tell a short story, and so as some of my beautiful friends have suggested, it has become a short novel or one act play. If you will forgive me, I have to finish at this point or I will feel incomplete. So with out further ado, the saga of two star crossed lovers will proceed.

There I was back on the islands in Washington, Orcas island to be exact. I was trying to recapture some of the magic I had lost since I had left, but something was missing. I was all twisted up and no amount of drugs was really taking the bleak, black feeling away. So I did what I always do when I feel like that, I wrote.

I don't really remember the majority of what I wrote. I suppose it was short stories and dark beat style poetry along the line of Lawrence Ferlinghetti, but for the most part I don't remember. There is one story I do remember. It went something like this, there was this Father and he had a teen age daughter. He loved his daughter very much, but she became sick with cancer and died. So the Father, who was a lumber jack, found this giant old tree that had been struck by lightening and died and he carved the dead tree into a beautiful angel in memory of his beloved daughter. The End. It may not have been Tolstoy, but for me it was to be the start of a journey home. The story was an expression of the pain I was in and somehow that pain was manifesting in the loss of a child that I didn't even know yet. I had a black hole in my soul and I didn't know what to do about it. I was lost and now somewhere out there, there was going to be a little baby who would never know this jacked up person who was her Father. How had this happened? I had always imagined that I was going to be an awesome Dad, but that was so far from the truth now.

If you believe in God, and you think that it is possible for him to use any circumstance to reach out to His beloved, then you will understand what I am about to say. It was at this point that I felt Gods Spirit reach out and shake my heart. Mind you I didn't know it was Him at the time, but looking back I can see Him all over me. I couldn't take it. I called up Paula, back in San Diego, to find out how she was.

Well as you can imagine, being two dysfunctional people as we were, we felt like things were better. I missed her. She was lonely living in my home town were she only knew my parents. After a few phone calls back and forth it was obvious, we had to get together again. The problem was that we were three states apart. I figured it was a no brainer she should come back to the beautiful San Juan Islands where we had met. The beautiful islands where you could live life how ever you wanted. The magic islands. She would have loved to, but she couldn't leave her fern. See she had this beautiful Boston fern that she had bought and in all reality it was her only friend in San Diego. (Remember I was going to be a plant Shaman so it didn't seem so weird)

Well I tried, but she wasn't coming with out the fern, so either I was going back or it was over. Somehow I had it in my mind that it wasn't over, so that meant I had to go back. I looked at the consequences of going back. If I went back and if blew-up again I would have nothing. I would be forced to leave and figure out what to do with my life. Being that I had nothing right now and I didn't know what to do with my life I figured I didn't have much to loose, so I went for it. I flew back to Escondido.

It was amazing. She was a different person. She was nice. She was sweet. We liked each other again. Life was great. I decided to not go back to work for my dad again, (Nothing like being ashamed) and looked around for waiter jobs. There was one great restaurant in all of Escondido at the time that was of the caliber of restaurant I had worked at in New York. I applied and got a position as a lunch staff waiter. I figured I would work my way up to nights where the real money was. Paula was pregnant. We were back in love. We lived in a cheep little apartment and I was making minimum wage, plus tips. Life was great.